April 2010
10 posts
When Keeping it Real Goes Right
This morning, I was hanging out in a sixth grade classroom during recess. In the back corner, there was a group of 8-10 students huddled around three girls: Elizabeth and Joanna, seated, looking sullen… and Diamond, standing, and preaching about: keeping it real.
Diamond was yelling: “I hate it when my friends fight!! Yall have just got to keep it REAL!!”
Joanna cracks a smile,...
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Double Down
Pat’s description:
“Picture two juicy, deep-fried chicken breasts. Now, those breasts get titty-fucked by a couple slabs of bacon, lubed up by melty jack cheese and a little splooge of mayo.”
21 year warning
There was a rumor flying around the fifth grade today that CBS reported that there would be an earthquake in the Bay Area today at 4:00 pm. Naturally, they were concerned. I assured them that this was not possible. Bryan’s rebuttal was that he heard it on TV!
So I was losing. I told them again that there was no way to predict an earthquake—but then I remembered this story I had...
Diabetes emergencies
I was trying to type “Diabetes Type II”, but instead I wrote
“Diabetes Type !!” which is a funny mistake and when I tried to correct it I ended up typing
“Diabetes Type 11” which is also funny and then I ended up eating 1,000 of these:
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oops
I picked the WRONG day to make a reservation at Apple to get my ipod fixed.
March 2010
41 posts
Kareoke videos
I love how irrelevant they are. Any song is set to stock footage of either a train, dolphins, scuba divers, or bungee jumpers.
1 tag
Fare is fair?
I got all antsy waiting for the bus, so I hailed a cab. We haven’t even moved and already it’s more expensive than the bus.
Also: Waffles
DO NOT go to sleep tonight until you have really, really celebrated the Swede’s Waffle Day!!
Give it up, yall
It is officially Lady Day in the U.K.
Let’s hear it for all the ladies!
Things I Saw at Stockton Thrift
I did buy: a unicorn bracelet, a tiger necklace, a light-up globe
I did not buy: a cookbook from the 70s called Adventures in Microwave Cooking, the Xanadu sountrack (featuring ELO-who knew?) on vinyl, a belt made entirely of rhinestones (only $90!)
Tonight is no exception
Going to visit the Grandfolks usually means eating too much of everything for dinner, and still always saying yes to dessert.
btw, when they cut the pie, they just cut it into four gigantic pieces.
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More Confiscated Notes Transcribed
To: Ms. Anderson
From: Her future student SINDY
Happy Birthday! HAve a great Birtday! I hope all your dreams come TRUE!
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Confiscated Notes Transcribed 2: Annabelle to...
Um?…I don’t really care, because I don’t like you and your dumb because first you say you don’t like me? And then you say you would call me the b word but you like me? WTF?
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Confiscated Notes Transcribed: Abraham to...
Hello! Um…I like you, so um maybe we should stop talking about this. I just want to say that you are nice. Wait your not nice your mean really mean. You suck.I don’t really like you. I know you don’t like me. You don’t want to be friends. I hate you. Man I wish I could say the B word, but I won’t cause I like you. I liked you since the beginning of the year. But you...
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In other news...
I taught an entire Math class yesterday in a British accent.
Jasmine is blooming everywhere and I love it
Regarding Reggae
Go to a reggae show, and you are bound to see a lot of youngs, a few olds, countless dreadlocks and piercings, a sprinkling of Volcom hats. Nearly everyone will be midly unattractive. You also might fall asleep and/or get high from second hand smoke.
Les Miserables
There was “A Little Fall of Rain” today, although it was mostly sunny, and now I have Les Mis on the mind, especially “One Day More”, which is always my fave.
Those hopeful Frenchies always bring a tear to my eye.
DTFB →
(via fingerbangin)
innernet
Internet is to be a capitalized proper noun. So says Microsoft Word; and so it is. Internet is: a person, place, thing, or idea.
Hella Zeroes →